Often, marriage is difficult. Meshing two lives together for a lifetime is daunting at times, and often, for various reasons, couples reach the point of giving up. Whatever the reasons for an impending divorce, couples should determine whether divorce will solve their problems or simply present a host of new problems. Before heading to the attorney’s office, couples should take into consideration a possible root problem, any children involved, and the financial implications of divorce.
While divorce may initially seem to be the answer to a couple’s problems, the divorce itself rarely solves the root cause of the issues prevalent in the marriage. Issues such as lack of trust, selfishness, and deception to name a few, will not be solved by divorced. Rather, these issues will often be magnified as they are ignored in favor of a short-term fix such as divorce. Before divorcing, couples should consider whether there might be underlying character issues or events from their pasts that might be contributing the failure of their marriage. Addressing these issues may offer a two-fold benefit of self-improvement as well as saving their marriage.
In considering divorce, couples who have children should also contemplate the effect a divorce might have on their children. Divorce can cause a flood emotions for a child, including feelings of betrayal, abandonment, and anger. In addition to these emotional consequences, children of divorced parents deal with a childhood of being shuffled back and forth between parents as well as inconsistencies in the rules and operations of each parent’s household. For children, sorting out the emotions and inconsistencies caused by a divorce outside of their control may cause lasting effects, and parents must weigh these risks with the benefits of divorce.
Finally, divorce presents a number of financial pressures, which couples may not initially consider. First, there will inevitably be attorney fees involved with the divorce process itself as the divorce and child custody agreements are formed. Beyond legal fees owed to the attorney, couples should consider the fact that single-handedly supporting a household will come with enormous financial stress. Thus, the couple should consider whether it is worth it to them to trade the stress of their marriage for the financial stress they will incur as a result of the divorce.
Divorce comes at a high cost, not only to the couple and children involved, but in a literal sense, it often brings a financial blow for both parties. Couples who pursue divorce are searching for answers for real problems, but filing for divorce is rarely the solution but rather the catalyst for the growth of their issues. Children of divorced couples often struggle emotionally with anger, fear, and insecurity. In the end, divorce also presents increased financial pressures as each party attempts to build a life on a smaller income. Thus, before heading to the lawyer’s office, couples should ask themselves if their marriage is truly the problem and whether the problems at hand will actually be solved by their separation.